saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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