I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize