i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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