What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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