so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize