I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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