but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize