You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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