Are we in a gay sports bar?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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