remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize