we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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