Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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