let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize