from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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