my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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