Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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