I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize