Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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