Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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