it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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