ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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