You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I enjoy the company of your penis
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