i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize