well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize