if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
sex in a hospital.. check
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize