I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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