Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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