i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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