At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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