i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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