That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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