its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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