if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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