Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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