Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
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I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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