party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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