Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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