yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Even my vagina gasped.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize