every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh god it's open bar.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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