there's paper in my vomit.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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