But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize