I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize