sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize