wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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