so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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