Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.

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(917): SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion. http://tfl.nu/nlg6

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(646): View more from New York

Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.

(1-646): View more from New York

what. the. fuck.

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(646): Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now. (1-646): what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/rzew

Replies (55) Good night (5482) Bad night (807)
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(514): View more from Quebec

so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

(1-514): View more from Quebec

and?

(514): View more from Quebec

luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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(514): so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother. (1-514): and? (514): luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne... http://tfl.nu/rdil

Replies (48) Good night (3979) Bad night (769)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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(508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better http://tfl.nu/9gj2

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(315): View more from New York

can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet

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(315): can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet http://tfl.nu/ofc9

Replies (13) Good night (4783) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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(216): Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping http://tfl.nu/0qth

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(617): I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition. http://tfl.nu/v2i1

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(770): View more from Georgia

She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.

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(770): She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40. http://tfl.nu/qfdq

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?

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(931): Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me? http://tfl.nu/cqgr

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?

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(570): there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i? http://tfl.nu/asxg

Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (445)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

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(719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde

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(401): Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde http://tfl.nu/uiul

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(512): View more from Texas

She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.

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(512): She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on. http://tfl.nu/lja4

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.

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(413): I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night. http://tfl.nu/bi4m

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z

Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (323)

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