There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize