He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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