I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize