Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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